I have been incredibly fortunate in planning my wedding. My parents have fronted essentially all of the major costs - the venue, the food, the booking fees, the coordinator, the cake - you name it, my parents have bought it without so much as batting an eye. That’s phenomenal, and I’m so incredibly lucky and thankful.
I have tried to do everything I can to alleviate some of that cost. I paid half the cost of my dress and veil, I bought my wedding jewelry and my shoes, I bought my bridesmaid’s gifts, my garter, and the hair and makeup services for me and all six of my bridesmaids. Fairly insignificant, but really more than I could afford when also paying rent, all my own bills, and my student loans.
Unfortunately, a lot of my experience has been that, to most vendors, you are just another wedding. Your wedding isn’t special; they do this all the time. They’ll be professional, but not necessarily friendly and definitely not excited. They want to get paid - bottom line. For instance, we were told we MUST coordinate the music for our wedding through the church’s in house music coordinator. We’ve never met him. We’ve only corresponded through email, and talked once on the phone (after he no-showed our first scheduled call). He told us we could have a bluegrass band, but we found them, booked them, paid for them, and coordinated their appearance with the church all ourselves. And now he’s asking us to give him $50 for his “services.” What services?
$50 isn’t the end of the world. But when you’re starting your lives together, I don’t think it’s too terribly much to ask for people to feel excited about your day. Especially if they’re ultimately going to ask you to pay them for doing nothing OTHER than essentially going “Yay you guys!”
Do your job. Part of doing your job is making couples feel special. If you don’t do your job, I shouldn’t have to pay you. End of story.
